PARTNER WORKSHOP AGENDA

 In this article, you’ll learn:

• Benefits of holding a partner workshop

• How to get started in planning your first workshop

• Ideas for activities for your workshop

If you want more structured materials for your workshop activities, you can get our digital Partner Workshop activity workbook here.

Why should we have a Partner Workshop?

The best thing about a Partner Workshop is that it can be completely custom-made for you and your partner. The only essential component is to make time and space to have deep conversations and discuss items that can strengthen your relationship. The benefits you will see from your workshop will vary, but the common potential benefits include:

1. Facilitating big or difficult conversations

   • It can be hard to find the time and energy to discuss large life topics and decisions in the space of regular day shores, work, and activities. If you try to broach these topics in between dishes or during a fun date night out, you or your partner might not be in the right headspace for the discussion and it could easily go awry. By carving out dedicated time for these conversations, both people can prepare thoughts ahead of time and come in the right mindset to have an open, honest discussion.

2. Providing space for individual and joint exploration

   • Brainstorms are often used in work settings to get creative, explore possibilities, and think outside the box. You can bring a similar spirit of discovery into your relationship by creating time in your workshop for interactive activities and personal brainstorming. 

3. Opening lines of communication

   • To prevent issues or emotions from festering, your workshop can provide an outlet to bring feelings and thoughts to the foreground and provide a safe space to give and receive feedback.

4. Aligning on goals, commitments, and expectations

   • Most organizations know that alignment is key to a strong business and company culture. Similarly, if you invest in aligning with your partner on goals, long-term vision, and values, you can support each other in growing as individuals and together. 

5. Having fun together!

   • Your workshop conversations may often get serious, and it’s important to balance this out with a lot of fun. A strong Partner Workshop will have a good mix of fun activities and important open discussions. 

How to create your Partner Workshop

You can create your Partner Workshop to be whatever you and your partner or family needs it to be, and below are the high-level steps to make it happen:

1. Schedule your workshop

   • Pick a day: Start by looking at least a few weeks out for a day that is open for both you and your partner. Pick a day that neither of you has to work, and you may want to secure childcare if you have kids so you can fully focus on your workshop. Check in with your partner to confirm the timing works well for them also. 

     • My partner and I like to hold our workshops bi-annually and have found this cadence works well for us. Your workshops could happen yearly, bi-annually, quarterly, or ad hoc, but you shouldn’t try to hold them too frequently or they will lose their significance and impact.

   • Schedule it on the calendar: To make it “official” you should add the workshop to you and your partner’s calendars. This small action can help you both commit to making it happen. For your first workshop, you may want to start small with a couple hours, and as you get more comfortable with the workshop concept, you can extend your workshop timing to a half or full days. 

   • Decide on the location: The easiest option for your workshop is to host it at home in different rooms of your house. Try to plan at least one activity out such as a walk around the neighborhood or a trip to get coffees. If you need more space or want to get adventurous, you can plan your workshop for another destination such as a day trip or a local working space. Be sure the area will be quiet and private enough for important conversations and that it has space for any specific activities you want to do such as brainstorming on post-its. 

2. Create your agenda

   • Brainstorm ideas of discussion points: Each workshop you do together will look very different depending on what your relationships needs are at the moment and any big open decisions in your lives. If your partner is open to it, it can be very effective to collaborate on creating the agenda. To do so, start by brainstorming ideas of topics you could discuss.

   • Share ideas: After brainstorming, share your ideas with one another along with any topics that you feel must be included. 

   • Prioritize topics: With all of the ideas and essential topics, prioritize the list based on how long you are hoping to spend in your workshop. For your first workshop, try to keep the list of topics to 3-5 items depending on the depth of each one and the level of interactivity you are planning. A fun way to prioritize the list is to give each person “points” that they can use to vote on the topics and then pick out the items that get the most points. You can always save de-prioritized topics for your next partner workshop.

3. Plan activities

   • Interactive ways to discuss topics (see ideas below): Once you have decided what you want to discuss, you need to determine how to best facilitate each discussion. Try to think of ways you can bring the conversation to life, add variety to the workshop, and allow time for each person to think before sharing. Post-its are always a good option where you can have each person write down thoughts and ideas and then share together and discuss themes. There are other ideas for interactive activities below, and you can get instructions and materials for each in our workshop workbook or toolkit. 

   • Add 1-2 fun activities: Add in at least one purely fun activity that doesn’t include any serious conversation. You can either do this as somewhat of an intermission between topics or use this to finish out the day on a high note. This could be something simple and free such as a hike, board game, or phone photo shoot, or it could be more elaborate such as a cooking class, a night out on the town, a comedy show, or a local sports game. Try to pick something both of you will enjoy.

4. Get any necessary supplies

   • Activity materials: As you decide what activities you want to do to facilitate your discussion topics, make sure you get the materials you’ll need to run them. This could be post-its and sharpies, stickers, paper, markers- whatever you need to get creative and open. Prepare all of these materials ahead of time so the workshop can be focused on the topics at hand. You can get our Partner Workshop toolkit if you want some prepared supplies to get your started.

   • Food and drinks: It’s a good idea to keep everyone well fed and hydrated to avoid any hanger or unnecessary stress. Plan for any meals that will intersect with your workshop and try to make them easy and prepared ahead of time as much as possible. Also have snacks and water readily available throughout the day.

5. Workshop!

   • With your workshop scheduled, agenda created, activities planned, and materials prepared, you are ready to go! As the workshop arrives, start the mood light, create a safe space with no judgement for one another, and stay flexible if you need to add or adjust the flow of your workshop depending on where it takes you. And most importantly, have fun! 

Below are a few ideas for workshop activities, and you can find detailed instructions for *some activities in our digital workbook below.

Topic / Activity ideas

1. Timeline activity*

   • Align on the timing for important life milestones

2. Tough questions

   • Discuss big life questions that can help you learn more about one another and what you want in life

3. Goal planning*

   • Share your most important goals to understand how to support one another

4. Define your values*

   • Discuss what drives your life

5. Vision-ing*

   • Share your long-term vision in key areas of your life

6. Trip brainstorm*

   • Brainstorm and prioritize ideas for trips to take together

7. Date night ideas*

   • Brainstorm and prioritize date night ideas

8. Love languages quiz

   • Learn about the 5 love languages and take the quiz to learn more about how to support one another

9. Household responsibilities discussion

   • Discuss the allocation of household responsibilities and whether you need to transition ownership of some areas

10. Location selection

    • Discuss where you want to live in the long-term to make sure you are aligned

11. Create a shared budget

    • Discuss your spending habits and draft a budget to get on track towards your financial goals

Happy workshopping!